#45. Asking For Consent

This Conversation Will Help You…

1. Know that the person initiating the act is responsible for asking for consent
2. Name different ways to verbally ask for consent
3. Understand the importance of clarity when asking for consent

Think About This First

• This conversation places consent in the context of "making sure there is a yes" rather than waiting to hear "no." Many people are familiar with the "no means no" version of consent, but this is a more active version that encourages everyone involved to make sure their partner is on the same page.

Resources 

Talking about consent can be difficult since we live in a society that does not embrace conversation about healthy relationships and the healthy practices that cultivate them.  Here are a few resources that address the points that are good to address when we discussing what consent looks like for you:

http://www.loveisrespect.org/healthy-relationships/what-consent/

http://everydayfeminism.com/2012/12/want-the-best-sex-of-your-life-just-ask/

http://www.consentissexy.net/consent

Having the Conversation

Start here:

Who do you think is responsible for asking for consent?

Who do you hear is usually responsible?

Is it always one person’s responsibility or both?

In our state’s laws, the person who is initiating the contact is responsible for asking for consent. What do you think about that? Do you agree? 

Continue:

Are there good and easy ways to ask for consent?

If you wanted to give someone a hug, how could you ask that?

Here are some ways I’ve asked for consent - are there ways that have worked for you?

Keep Talking:  

What if someone asks for consent but they aren’t clear about it?

What kinds of confusion could it cause for the other person?

What are ways that you can make consent really clear?

How can you clarify if the other person is asking for consent?