#10. How To Know You're Going Too Far


This Conversation Will Help You…


  1. Bring up the subject of personal boundaries and express interest in knowing
  2. Read body language signals
  3. Stop and talk about what is going on


Think About This First

  •  This conversation can help us figure out if we are moving too fast, how to check in with a partner, and the importance of being willing to stop and check in.


Having the Conversation


Start Here:

How would you bring up a conversation about boundaries related to sex and intimacy with a new partner?

What are some things that you think would make the conversation easier to have?

What are ways you could express your interest in knowing their values and wishes?



If you are talking, what are some ways that you could read your partner’s body language?

What kinds of signals might show they are feeling comfortable talking?

What would show they are uncomfortable?

Do you know what kind of body language signals you use or show?


Keep Talking:

Are there things you notice about yourself when you are comfortable or uncomfortable?

Can you tell when your partner is ready to stop being physical with you? For example, if you are kissing, how are you able to tell when they are ready to stop?

What kinds of signals do you look for?

Why would it be useful/beneficial to know these signals?

If you were being more intimate with each other, what signals would you look for to let you know that things were going well or needing to stop?

What are ways you could stop to check in with your partner?

Why is it important to check in with your partner when you’re being intimate?

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